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Welcome to my Bitching corner ♥ Leen-ed
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Greetings earthlings. Welcome to my little space in the cyber world; Leen-ed.blogspot.com. This is where I rant this is where i bitch, this is where many things were let loose. Hate the content, then by all means, leave. =) *** |
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Monday, March 31, 20089:45 PM
Seriously, the words in my books seems alienated. Nothing gets to my head, I felt so gullible. I felt so dumb. I stood in the shower for like only god knows how long, with the shower above my head, as the cold water run down my head to my whole body. My mind blank, heart wrecked, tears voluntarily roll down my cheeks even if i try to stop them from falling. Somehow, I felt disappointed, and its as if, i have let down, whole lot of people. Attachment is so going to be tough, scolded as soon as we entered the ward. Demoralise, but i try to keep my morale high, i have to endure, for the sake of my future, for the sake of the money that I have to pay to KK if i failed this attachment, and for the sake of my parents that had been proud of me when i get enrolled for tertiary education. My whole family is going to be disappointed with me if i blew my bond away. I am like the most successful one in the house, even without good results, somehow i manage to get good deals. OMG! I am such let down. I don't know what I am thinking, but i know I am not in the right state. Damn, even my immunity is failing me. My temp rises causing an increase to 37.9, and somehow, i can feel that the blood is not flowing right, my lips got pale and my hands are cold. And now, i let my patient down, i can go for clinical posting if i am sicked, i am sure to put my patient especially those on chemotherapy at risked of getting infected. Damn! I can't afford to get sick, not when i have major exam coming up and not when I am handling important lives in my hands. OMG! why am i such a monster, i am having too much pressure. I am terribly sorry to the auntie that fainted at NUH shuttle bus line, as much as i wanted to help u, i just don't know how to, and i was caught by a shocked plus the eyes of the public somehow, scares me and gave me the impression that its my responsibility to make u alright. I was rooted to the ground and my brain somehow went blank. I am sorry that i somehow, throw my tantrums around and make u feel small, not even in the slightest intention that I wanted to neglect, to hurt, to treat you or your loved ones wrongly, to make u feel hurt. I am sincerely sorry that, i dissapoint u, i am just a normal human, infact a weaker one. And believe it or not, every words of love from me is right from the bottom of my heart. And so, I need my rest now. |
