Okeis, and so, my bad people, i know i know, i have not been updating my blog since 9483726154253647 days! Okies exaggeration, but yeah, nearly a week since i post in an entry.

Been busy with school, boyffie and other stuff. So yeah. Anyways, past few days had beem well i guess. Many things and when i say many, i really mean it. "MANY" things had happen, but i can't just every single detail out here.

And so, how are things? Perfectly fine i guess. Yup yup. Had wonderful weekends, dinner at normal place and extra meal at cafe cartel, a drink at magarita bar and yup yup, had bonding bonding session. Catching up stuff, and as per usual to actually talk nonsense all night . hahahaahx.

And where the heck am i? School library. Yup yup. Finishing up my Respiratory system which is sumpah-oh-so-compilated, but with god will, i am able to make it aite.

Okies, gotta rush home now, missing baby boy like alot. Muacks.

Toodles.

My so called "sec 2" cadets have passed out. Hehehhex. Awwww. How time flies. Seriously, awwww. Seems like yesterday, i was just being told that i am suppose to teach the sec's 3 foot drill. Hahahaahahx.

I miss annual camp, i was busy with my first aid box, scolding cadets for the fun of it, having water parade and "torture" them by making them stay in the pumping position. I miss changing parade, which makes us all wanna cry. I miss sharing drinks with out of random cadets. I miss running to the basement and trying to lock the ncc cadets inside. I miss mocking other cca, i miss dancing to my hump with azizah. I miss hanging out with "Famous Four" after cca.I miss using the word "semangat kebabian." I miss sleeping at the school void deck and having to wake up for fire drill. I miss shouting, squad sedia, senang diri and check one, check up check curb, check up check curb, check one check, check left, left, left right. OMG! I miss NPCC alot alot.Hell yeah! And my dearest "BABI" one and only B and B partner, my first NPCC bestfriend, my selenger SOTONG meet up soon okeis. I miss all three babies. :((

Who never fails to try to make me smile.

Hahahaahahx.

Omg! I am so freaking not okies. Expectations! What more do you one? Not knowing, not seeing, doesn't mean i am not doing. The more, you pressure, the more demoralise i get, and to tell you the truth, thanks for accumulating my stress level, sometimes, i just hope to faint and never to regain, until every single one of you realise that indeed causing me emotional pain. Understand! Understand! You said u do, but actually you don't. Why must i be the one trying to understand, contradicting myself, trying to believe stuff that is created by your "self-serving bias."

EEEEee! You know what, lets just do what i do best. To tahan and swallow all this shit that people give me.

:)) Ok byes

:((

No matter how much i try to reason to myself, tears keep on flowing, as painful as it can be, i have to do what i have too. You will always be in my heart, you brought me joy, that i can never explained, even for a short while, you mean alot to me, and i love u so much. I am really sorry for the decision that i have to make. I know, its selfish, and i am very dissapointed in myself, but my dear, no matter what, i will always remember u baby.

:((

With heavy heart, i realise that things can never be easy. "NOTHING" is perfect. I am not complaining neither am i sighing. This is life, and whatever it is, it have to move on. I got a great news to share, but its just not possible for me to say this out, knowing that yes, my blog is for public display.

Emotional day, and yup, i guess i am having it today. My soul seems to be dampened, i feel so empty, soemhow useless. No explanation why, this is like one of the random things that happen and somehow there is just no reason to explain everything.

Somehow, during psychology, i began to understand, differences between one soul and the other. Different believes, different stands, different behaviours, can it stand tall and last long? I don't have the answer, the book didn't even answer the question. But to think about it, there is a high possibility, that these differences, can be put aside. Accepting,believing, etc etc.

Yeah, applying that to my own life, different people will think differently about yourself. I had quite different vocabulary, labelled to me; ego, crybaby, quiet, sweet, caring, boot-licker, loving, loud, pleasant, etc etc etc. In overall, don't sulk by what people say, cause you still have a whole lot of people that thinks highly of you. :)

And I have learnt of self-serving bias and with research made as i was surfing the net, guys have the highest tendency of using the self-serving bias theory on themselves. Oh well, guys do think highly of themselves sometimes. Hmmm and thats random.

Ok as u can see, i am crappy, so i guess, i better log out now. Bub byes. May god bless you and your family members. Aitye.

Coincindently, me and Ira had the same pair of shoes :)

Heehehhex. Cool or what . Hehehex.

Its the same as, being incharged in the cubicle and as you are busy preparing medications, one of the patient fall out of the sudden.

With this, i am sorry readers but i am taking a time off.

Will be back blogging in soon alrites.

:))

Haluuuu. Bloggig in from my boyffie crib. Spent the day with him and playing psp. Hehehehx. Oh well, nothing much to talk about actually. And so tuition lesson tomorrow. Yup yup. Okies bye!

Miss my sweetie pie :(

And so i declare that attachment for year 1 is finally over. Oh ooo, i guess what people, i failed my sup. But chill chill, good thing is i promoted to year two, but i couldn't take 4 modules and my graduation will be 6 months more then the actual date. Yup yup, oh well, no point crying over spilled milk. Like what my mentor told me, its okeis as long as i never give up. Yup yup. With god will, i am able to pull this through and finsih my course.

So, its a bit emotional i guess. Separating from my attachment "kakis" and will only joined them in ward 51 on i-dunno-when-but-it-will-be-somewhere-in-september. And so my timetable is liek super duper different, but somehow, i kinda like it though, i finish school at about 5 the latest and on every wednesday, school starts at 9 for me. Hahahahax. I am able to wake up late each day i guess. But still, wait till the upcoming semester where i have to join in other groups for lessons, haiyoh. Hahahahx. Not complaining though.

Attachment at ward 57 is not as bad as what we expected after all. I seriously gonna miss najib, hell yeah. That crazy ass guy. Hahahahahax.

Moving on, i am so grateful that i am blissfully attach to my current boyfriend. Yup yup, okies, more then a boyfriend, he is like everything to me. My other half, my saviour, my best friend, my brother, my guidance, my lover, my boyfriend,my ......... and the list continue. Seriously, he helped me alot and he always been there for me, like alot. Somehow, he gives me the strength when i am at the lowest point in my life. And even if i make him angry, he still cares for me, and love me for the way i am. Basically, i love him so much, and i did the right move of giving my heart to him. And as much as i love him, i also do love his family. Ok, i know, all of you must be thiking why in the world i am typing this down, in my blog. I also dunno, its just the way i feel, and i miss boyffie alot actually. He came down with fever due to muscle ache since its been quite some time since my baby boy did some training. And like he says if everything went well, he will make me his wife, and seriously, i too wanna make him my husband. :)

Okie okeis, i move on okeis. My eyes are heavy but i just dun have the feel to sleep. Insomia? I guess so.

Anyhoo, i just stick a smaller version of "fleet anema" up my asshole. Like i had mother fucking constipation for like only-go-knows-when, and its killing me, at last, all the shit is out from my system. Thank goodness. Happy giler sak. Hahahax. Ok thats random.

Ok lar, bub byes people.

MUACKS!

Ok wads up folks?!? Been days since i blog in yeah. Ok ok sorry my bad, been busy with stuff yup yup, attachments, spending time with my baby and of course sleeping. Hahahax. Tired okeis, seriously T.I.R.E.D!

So time check 6.30pm, and i am watching my ultimate favourite sitcom, "Friends". And so last few days had been crazy, seriously, fun, tears, loved, missed, etc etc etc. Muahahahahax.

I spent my whole weekend with my baby boy, fun fun fun thats all i can say. Yup yup. Actually not the entire weekend but the majority of it, spent the whole saturday and sunday night with him. And i must say that, i am glad that we had spent the time together, i got to know more on my baby boy life and of course, he had such funny friends and also, he makes a good criminal partner. Hahahahx. And so, really appreaciate it m dear. I love you lotsa and can't wait for the 6th, 7th, 8th.... Hahahahhahahax... I know, u readers don't hahaahahahax.

And so, attachment, 3 days left, endure girl. Yup yup. I can do it and so is everyone okeis. Don't take the sister words to heart okies girl, thats what angry people will do. She got angry, and will try to control her temper, and then will somehow let it go indirectly to others with their words of "wisdom" when actually, its just their own theory and they expect u to just listen and not denying that whatever they says is a fact.

Anyways, the patient in my ward super duper cute. hahaahahx. hahaahahahx. Omg! I shall say no more, not gonna breach the private and confidentially. Heheheehx..

Ok i shall take my leave now. Muacks...

Baik ke pe... OMG! lepas satu satu per... Baik uhs...

ARGHHHHHHH!

Sleepless night, insomnia? I hope so! Damn mother fucking frustrating, i can't sleep.I need my sleep, eyes please close and bring me to my dream land. If i continue like this again, i might just faint tomorrow. Oh well, its hospital anyway. Seriously, my energy is drained, so fatigue, so sleepy, so tired. Seriously, plain frustrating to tears!

Hmmmmpfffff.

Bye lar

Ok, prediction of the day, I think I am going to have a long day.


Yeah, no obvious reason, but somehow my guts tell me so.


Menstruation is draining my energy. I am still running a temperature, but i guess, it can drop to normal range, after one last dose of paracetamol.


I miss my brother. I meant the second one. He is away to meet his giffie, and shocking-ly I cried, when i see him off just now. I dunno why, just that i have been missing some people, like my dad, my brothers, tish, and seriously i miss my mother alot.


Anyways, this post is dedicated to Yana. Met her on the way home from airport. Its great to meet her, after like 9876543245674323456 months, okies exageration, been like what, 6 months since i last saw her? Thank you sweetie, for hugging me and make me feel a bit better, actually alot. And hey, apologise for the wet shirt. Hahhahaax. And, we hang out and talk more okies. Love u babe.



.....................................................................................


I dunno what else to blog, so till here, bye people.

Oh yesh, check this out...

"Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street, yeah
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon"




But i prefer this one