No contacts please.

I am shutting the world for the time being

And guess what, he is coming to Singapore this Saturday.
Nyehahahhahax.

Oh and yesh yesh yesh, my baju raya is so ready.Its nice, just like how I want it to be, just that, its abit big for me. :((

Okeis and I promise to upload series of picture in the next post okeis. :))

Hehehex.I had super duper good day.
Hell yeah...
Nyehahahaahahx...

Thank u thank u thank u...
LULU ur the greatest.

My day was spent with dearest Lulu, watching DVD's and falling asleep while she serves the net. Nyehahahaahahx.

But the greatest were the pillow fight.
She happily slam my face with the boster while i was sleeping.
Hahahaahx. Thats how it all started.

Nyehahhahax.

Do it again soon okeis

:))

And and and oh yeah ungu coming to singapore!!!
Yessa!!!
ANd guess what I bought the tickets!!

Yahoooo!!!

The best thing about loving and being hurt
is that you get to know what true love really is.
For as gold is tested in fire,
and so will love be perfected in pain

and thats true :))
totally totally totally

A girl wont cry easily, only when she
loves you the most, she puts down her
ego

if a girl cries because of you,
please dont give her up, maybe because of
your decision, you ruin her life.

When she cries right in front of you,
when she cries because of you, Look into
her eyes, Can u see n feel the pain and
hurt she's feeling?

Which other girl have cried wif pure
sincerity, Infront of you, And because of
you?

She cries not because she is weak, She
cries not because she wants sympathy or pity,
She cries, Because crying silently is no
longer possible, the pain, hurt, n
agony have become too big a burden to
be kept inside...

Lets give it a chance one more time :))

So its monday.

Whole new week once again...

Hmmmm, nothing much to type in actually...

:((

Miss u...

Okies, and so, its saturday. Weekends are here.
Nyehahahahhax.

and and and I can't wait for attachment to start.
Like finally, I cn meet up with Farah and Najib.
Thats the two important people that I wanna meet up
during my shit-cleaning work in the hospital

clocks ticking and in two hours time
I will be the most happiest girl in the whole universe
Reason why? Get to me m beloved baby boy.

Yesh, and this time round,
we are going to the place that we first met
PASIR RIS!
Heheehhex.

Not for a date actually
but to watch this singaporean malay talent concert
together with Kakak.
Heheehehx

And and and, after four days straight.
I finally got a puff.
Even if its not my all time favourite
VICEROY MENTHOL LIGHT!!
but a malboro contra band will be
good enough.

And so,
I guess,
I have to bid farewell

I wanna doll up myself now
:))

and so up up and away....

So thats the many many looks of my hunny bunny.

Nyehahahahx.

And and and,
I am really sorry that I can't be there when u need me.
I know u are stressing on school and other stuff
And sometimes, I recklessly, trigger ur emotions
till there is a spark of fight
causing u to be so unfocused and so down
I am really sorry baby.

Looking at you; your movements, your everything
is much more fun than watching
the greatest movie, Steven spielberg could ever produce

sound like exaggeration
but hey, I sweAr upon god,
that every word is true.

Its not my fault that I am so addicted to u,
I blame u for it instead
With the smile on your face, you captured my heart
With every kiss, you weakened my strong barrier
With every hug, you make me the most wanted girl in the whole universe.

baby, I dunno what much to say, i love u too much that it is so frustrating that no words can convey the message of love from me to u. Whatever it is, I know that you love me and we will make this work even till the end of time.

Okies lar, enough of mushy mushy okeis.

4 more months.
And reality check its been months since i enter into a club.
:((
I swear I am going to have my 4 days straight of clubbing for my birthday celebration. So be prepared okeis people. Nyehahahahahx.
From lady night, to free event, to birthday treat. Nyehahahahax. I so cannot the wait. Hehhehe.

Oh and and and, something to look forward to this month.

Please take note to the people involved.

26th August 2008: Hair extension babeh
28th August 2008: A date for 2, for me and seri
30th August 2008: F4 dinner at *surprised*
and everyday, any time, any where, spending mushi mushi time with Alfirdaus

OMG!

Adoption story makes me weep.
Super duper sweet.
Bebebe, I want baby can or not?

:))

But serious shit, it is so touching.

Heyya. Guess what, final paper before my sups is on the 22th. Nyeahahahahhahx.
And and and, kakak-kakak year 2 going to semester 2 already. Hahahahax.

Gosh,omg,I am so in Nanyang Polytechnic. Hahahahahx.
Still can't believe it, but yeah, its true.

Nyeahahahhahax.

Okies, first and foremost, fasting month is in 2 weeks time, and and and so ladies pay up all your debts alright. Including me, swear to god, i dunno how many days that I missed. Nevermind lar, keep on fasting till fasting month comes.

Hehehehx. And and and, wanna know a secret, i love my baby boy. Yesh, definitely in love. Hehehx. Bebe, i want to spent time with u lar bachin. :(

Okies moving on, enough of him, since fasting month is nearing, no more unhealthy activities. Hehehex. Yeah, I am serious. No drinking, no hanky panky. Hahahhahahx. Okies LULU! Diam okeis. Hahahax, i can tahan my sakit okies, no more stunt, hehehehehx.

Okies okeis, my entry seems draggy today, maybe because, I don't really know what to type into these spaces.

Oh and yesh, lets talk about HSM. Some cock up happened to the tickets, manage to buy two instead of four, so apologies to Kiki and Faiz. Oh and yesh, it rawks!! Went with my boyffie nephew last saturday. Nyehahaahahx...

Check out the pics okies good people.















Oh and and and,notice something? my face rounder and my hair, suckish suckish, I need to get a hair cut. Nyehahahahahx.

And and and extension for raya hair style.

:))

Kiki, fireworks soon? Okies okeis

Azizah!! Saya rindu kamu :))

Aisyah aka sotong aka mee-nah

Bye bye alip, NS is calling. Nyehahahaahx.

My turning into 'Clubber" friend. Hahahhaahx. MOS all the way okeis :))

CHRIS!!! We seriously have to meet up soon :)) And lastly, my baby boy :)

I love so muchy muchy

Ika: Hey baby girl, sombong seh skarang
me: Hey bitch.Sombong where got, busy lar
Ika: Busy buat ape je
me: kena main ngan my boyffie, nice, better than fingers or dildo

Hahahaahx. Straight away member change the tone lar seh.

Hahahaahahx. Hahahaahahx.

Okies I am very sorry for the extreme sarcasm.

Hahahax. But u know what, I am straight and futher I am committed to ALFIRDAUS, so it isnt fair for him. Stop being so mushy mushy can or not.

Hahahahahx.

And so, here I am blogging while watching some indonesia horror movie with Nysa, nyehahhah, she cabut skola today, so invite her over to my crib.

Okies lar till here alritey kpos.

Bub Byes.

Okies, maybe when i was blown away with emotions.
Scared, sad and dissapointment filled in me.
Who am I trying to kid.
Seperation will only bring the worst of me.
Cause I swear I would be so lost without him.

Its like a routine each day, u see.
To hear his voice the first thing when i woke up and the last thing before I close my eyes to sleep.

My baby did called me yesterday night just before he wanted to go to bed, and suprisingly, he sounded so calm and so filled with love, to tell you the truth, I expected some interrogation for my actions, some firm and stern voice, but no, I was wrong, my baby didn't want me to leave him. I didn't want to leave him either.

Things are just hard to explain, when emotions run wild, your thoughts, your stands just gives in. If I am able to hold on for the worse reasons, then why not now?

I am just an immature, so helpless, I am only an eighteen year old, turning eighteen to be precise, so what if I have been in a 3 years of relationship? so what if I have more than 10 exes? Thats puppy love and it may sound stupid of how a person may said that he/she loves that someone very much and the very next moment they broke up and move on, loving another person and express it out again to the world how much he/she loves that someone very much.

I have gone through that phase, and to think about it, its stupid, i wasted my cash, my education, my time, but i guess its all part of learning,and without those experience, I wouldn't have start a whole new relationship with my boyffie. And i know I conradicts alot, bragging how things are not going well etc etc etc, but u see, eliminating those negative feelings; jealousy, anger, sadness, its him that I wanna be with, and my reasons for wanting to be with him, its not just plain "i love him." Everything else matters. His family, his education, his background, his well-being etc etc etc. Even if there is one or two things I dislike, i can always tell him, if he refuses then tolerate it. Give and take, thats important.

I am not trying to be a pro here, like i say earlier on, I am just an immature and different perspectives have different views. So that is my view towards whatever I am facing on.

I am not saying that I am guranteed to spent my whole life with Firdaus, humans planned but Allah decide, but the thing is the plan is I wanna spent my entire life with him, god always create a problem with a solution, so yup, with god will, we are able to find those solution to wadever obstacle and fights that has been planned for us.

I know u love me baby,
i know u wouldnt repeat it again
I trust u baby love.
I really do...

I dun wanna promise you
Because I feared that I may fail
But I am trying my best
to be the apple of your eyes.

:))

I dunno what I want anymore.
I just need him in my arms
knowing that I did not a stupid decision
This hurts,its not fun at all.
I am good at this, then why am i crying?

I lost everything.
I really do.

I know, yours gonna lead a better one with someone knew.
As for me, let me just lead life under your shadows till, i am stable again.
Whatever memories of you, that lingers around me, shall replace your voice that accompany me each night before i sleep.

Funny how, things work...
I guess god, let me have the final opportunity to be alone with him, before he is no longer mine...

oh gosh...

what have i done?

how could i leave someone that loves me so much?
someone that dares to own up after a huge mistake
someone that sacrifice everything

:((

god gives me strenght
and with every possibility i want him back in my arms

:((

I love you
and i swear every word is true

Okies this is totally weird...

W-E-I-R-D!!!

Somehow watching girls making out infront of me turns me on.
Like i dunno why.
and sumpah sungguh menakutkan diriku ini okeis.
I know i know, I have dated some girls, have bisexual or even gay friends.
But this time is like different.
I didn't like them, i mean, not like those loving loving type lar, and I don't develop feelings towards them, i just love looking at them making out, similarly to something like guys watching pornographic. Super scary...

I am not discriminating, whatever words typed out are mutual and i apologise if I have made any party feels uncomfortable, as I seriously have no intention of hurting anyones feelings and this is 100% base on my personal life.

To think about it, if i am not straight, then I definitely would fall for Ika. I am sorry that I have to talk about u here, but i think your great, and i happen to like boys :)) no hard feelings alright.

Ika is a friend of mine, she is superly hotstuff nak mampos, she had great hair, curvy body and flawless face, and she happens to be gay. Due to some characteristic that I possess, she told me that she fall for me. And so, being attached and most importantly being straight i rejected her. But, I did let my other bisex friends date her.

Its not like I wanna make out with another girl, personally for me, i don't find the fun because whatever I have, the girl has it too. I prefer having the real thing than a fake man-made vibrating stuff or perharps two fingers, up my walls.

Maybe this is the effects of watching too much The L word...
Oh well, I dunno.
But i hoped it will stop cause I felt so weird...

:))

Okies, heyya folks.

Okies, I know, Miss Leen have been rude and grumpy pass few days and and and, everyone seems to be annoyed at me. Haiyoh, I don't even know why. I need alot of things that I can't have. Like its so pissing me off.

EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
G-E-R-A-M LAR SEY!!!!

Like geram like hell...
Some people really need to think, think whats right and wrong, think whats important and whats not, think of the hints and signs that others have been given to u.

I am so not in the mood, I swear I don't. I felt like crying.

I lost the digital camera in malaysia, part of me is prepared to receive the lecturing and scolding and cold shoulders and no money, while another part of me, wanted to tell lies and bought a new replacement. So lost.

And to top it off, I so really need to have the perfect hair for once. My hair were never nice okeis, so thin... Hair extension!! Yup i need it badly :((

Suckish suckish suckish. I am very sure, my dad is not gonna give me any cash to do it, infact i owe him like 40 bucks, damn shit.

Daddy daddy, if u ever read this, i am broke so broke, i have no cash to buy the replacement as well as pay u the cash back. :(( I am really really sorry. I know I am a spendrift and i have butter fingers, but dady i promise that I will be extra careful with everything... boo hooo :((

My allowance have been cut down. I failed my modules and seriously. I have been having financial crisis.

:((

Oh well, its not like things gonna get easier.

Moving on,

new craze in town, HELICOPTER!!

my baby is addicted to it, like really really really addicted to it.

Oh well...

Moving on, spent the day out with my crazy bitch SERI!!!

I LOVE U SO MUCH BABE!!!

Okies, now bye bye

This entry is so mushy mushy that I think most of u will be disgusted but who cares hate it then leave okies...

Seriously, pass few days had been emotional for me. I cried at least once everyday, and reason why? no paricular reason. Hmmmmmmm.

And to tell u the truth, I am actually crying right now, and reason why?
Baby boi... Yesh all because of him...

No, he is not misbehaving himself. My baby boy has been a goodie goodie this pass few days. Die tk noti noti at all. And and and, I am very happy about that. And so what makes me weep?

Looking at him studying through the webcam, I begin to think to myself. The decision, that I had make pass few months. I realise that, i had never love someone this much before.

Yesh i know, it may seems contradicting. But despite all the heartbreaks and tears and anger,jealousy and wanting to leave, the urge to flirt around, and all other nonsense, at the end of the day, its him who has been there, its him who has been giving me kisses on my forehead, hugs when i needed them, its him that had his tears roll down his cheek for me, its him that have been worrying for me,its him that has been cracking out his brain to solve my problems, its him that sacrifices his lazy days just to fetch me home and spent the day out with me.

I know, I brag alot, not doing anything as sign of appreciation for him, but the truth is i really appreciated the things that he did for me, even those lil things like giving me a kiss on the forehead or feeding me whatever he is eating. Iam thankful enough for that. He might not have the perfect boyfriend quality, but hey no one is perfect and i sincerely accepted him as he is. I myself not a perfect girlfriend for him. I do have my unpredictable swings and so the tak perlu blurness, but if you love somebody, accept the way it is, and try to change the flaws slowly.

Okies i know, this post is filled with words on my relationhip with baby boy, but who cares. I just can't help it that I am so madly in love with my baby boy, like hell yeah, i do love him. I love him bits and pieces.

Baby boy, if ur reading this, i trusted you, and i know u meant your words and baby love, i love u and i never lied about it before.

baby, lets spent quality time together, i want to be cuddle up with u and be in your arms...

Age is just a number
But it doesn't stop u from being with the person u love
So what if he is too old or she is too young for u?

The only reason u highlight the fact is for boasting.
Yeah so?
Do u think I care?
My boyfriend is much more older than yours
and get the facts right
its not the age or the properties
its about love, faitful,care and attention.

Oh and yesh talking about owning properties
my boyffie has his own ride and yours don't
stated clearly isn't it?

so, please do some evaluation before u start boasting on your "belum-masuk-ns" boyfriend okies darling?

:)) oh well, i aint wanna quarrel with small kids like u. grow well ass.

moving on, maybe i did feel guilty.
i dunno.
i really don't
i am stuck.
each have its own good and bad
=((

I am really really sorry.

Damn.
Lust is controlling my life
serious shit I am not joking

its been days...

I wanna cuddle up
and be in strong arms
so warm so safe and sound

I want a soft, warm and wet kiss
so passionately
that i get butterflies in my stomach

I wanna sleep in the arms of my lovies
and wake up to see him smile at me

damn tat feels good.

Omg omg omg!!!

Boo i need u badly.
:'((