Okies, maybe when i was blown away with emotions.
Scared, sad and dissapointment filled in me.
Who am I trying to kid.
Seperation will only bring the worst of me.
Cause I swear I would be so lost without him.

Its like a routine each day, u see.
To hear his voice the first thing when i woke up and the last thing before I close my eyes to sleep.

My baby did called me yesterday night just before he wanted to go to bed, and suprisingly, he sounded so calm and so filled with love, to tell you the truth, I expected some interrogation for my actions, some firm and stern voice, but no, I was wrong, my baby didn't want me to leave him. I didn't want to leave him either.

Things are just hard to explain, when emotions run wild, your thoughts, your stands just gives in. If I am able to hold on for the worse reasons, then why not now?

I am just an immature, so helpless, I am only an eighteen year old, turning eighteen to be precise, so what if I have been in a 3 years of relationship? so what if I have more than 10 exes? Thats puppy love and it may sound stupid of how a person may said that he/she loves that someone very much and the very next moment they broke up and move on, loving another person and express it out again to the world how much he/she loves that someone very much.

I have gone through that phase, and to think about it, its stupid, i wasted my cash, my education, my time, but i guess its all part of learning,and without those experience, I wouldn't have start a whole new relationship with my boyffie. And i know I conradicts alot, bragging how things are not going well etc etc etc, but u see, eliminating those negative feelings; jealousy, anger, sadness, its him that I wanna be with, and my reasons for wanting to be with him, its not just plain "i love him." Everything else matters. His family, his education, his background, his well-being etc etc etc. Even if there is one or two things I dislike, i can always tell him, if he refuses then tolerate it. Give and take, thats important.

I am not trying to be a pro here, like i say earlier on, I am just an immature and different perspectives have different views. So that is my view towards whatever I am facing on.

I am not saying that I am guranteed to spent my whole life with Firdaus, humans planned but Allah decide, but the thing is the plan is I wanna spent my entire life with him, god always create a problem with a solution, so yup, with god will, we are able to find those solution to wadever obstacle and fights that has been planned for us.

I know u love me baby,
i know u wouldnt repeat it again
I trust u baby love.
I really do...

I dun wanna promise you
Because I feared that I may fail
But I am trying my best
to be the apple of your eyes.

:))