I am not someone that will show u my anger.
I am not someone that will show u my pain.
I am not someone that will show u my wants.
I am not someone that will show u my suffering.

all i will do is try to smile.

And for the first time, I am gonna say this, not only to u, but to everyone.

"Thats the way i am accept it".
And even if you try to change me.
Carry on and we will see if u succeed
if u succeed then good for u and obviously for myself
but if u fail, dont get pissed and throw tantrums at me.

=)

Hello human beings.
Well, apologise for the late and irregular updates.
What to expect, attachment is driving me nuts.
Tiring, and yup tiring.



And oh, not forgetting exams.
Gosh, less than a month.
But i will still try my best though.

Aniwaes, first stop.
How bout a picture from my little outing with Syafa?



Proceed to my multiply for full album =)



And oh, baby finally brought me to barrage.
Hahahax.
Yeah, after so much of hinting and waiting, so yup finally.

I dunno how to put it in words.
and I am not here typing, to stir up any feelings.
Sounds contradicting but seriously, I dunno hows my life is going to be.

Everything has come back alife, even though no signs and syptoms that its happening.I am just plain paranoid. I still havent got over to the fact that my dearest friend, is gone. Gosh its hard to explain. Oh well.

Yeah, tomorrow is the day!!
I am having a date with boyffie.
And god knows how long it has been, and how badly I long to have a date with him.
Dont get me wrong, but seriously, I am not being an exagerator here, the last time that i had a date with him was on the 16th of december.

School, attachment, work and stuff, gosh,both of us had been so busy and and and I so need this, as the last theraphy before i start mugging for exams. And, i am so excited that i got myself express manicure and pedicure, even if the manicure woud only last till tuesday, due to NUH posting, but i guess, its worth it though, anything for my baby.

And oh, i got facial today. Hahahax. Okies, I am being such a girlie girl today, I wanna doll up myself, and my mum was like, " ehk, leen ade dinner besok?" Hahahahax.
Oh and yesh, i got my lashes permed. Hehehex.

ANd so I basically have a good day today and obviously, being excited about tomorrow. Hehehx. And and and I guess, i need my beauty sleep.

=)

To love is a choice
to stay is a decision

Well, its been a while since i blog an entry on my baby.
No apparent reason, just that, things has been so much better.
Alhamdulilah.

Eliminating all the high expectations, and accepting facts that my boyffie is not someone that i always brag about, make things so much easier for me. And i dont blame him actually. He had his heart shattered couple of times, and that explain his defence mechanism. He did sweet goodies for the ladies but they hurt him, and so, i guess its being register in his mind. Oh well. i tried to change the consequence. But his mechanism is way to strong, oh well.

Its like

antecedent and behaviour and consequences

So i hope by changing the consequences, which is I will not hurt him, will affect the behaviour too.

Hahahx.

Okies, what am i blabbering about?

Nevermind, its okies if you dont understand cause this is what they call behaviour modification.

But still no matter what, i love you very the much muchi, and thank you so much for helping me out this week. Sending, waking up early morning, to send me to IMH is not easy okies.

=)

Sunday, a new week is just around the corner.
Sorry for the lack of updates.
Life has been pretty hectic, as always.
Attachment is tiring me down.
Gosh.

Anyways, lets move on to updates.

Well, many things to talk about.
Lets talk about my saturday night life.
Gosh, no words can express, but its the bomb.
Hahahax.
From powerhouse, down to DXO, much more chill out place compared to a club.
And so, meeting my ladies for the weekend is a must must.
Heheehx.Yeah. Like hell yeah...
How about last week?
Dxo with my favourite girls, my lovelies, my kaki gerek!!!

And god look at Farina... hahahx... So so so much hotter, prettier and not forgetting healthier... Hehex. And of course to syafa, more parties to come okies... =)

And yup, mulitply for full album....

And so how did i spent my saturday?

karaoke with lovelies!!

Yup. And i swear i had so much fun. And who cares for having toad voice. hahahx.

And oh oh oh...

Quoted from Syafa, (i too lazy to type in)
"when FInally finally the boys left the room to smoke..wah! both of us happy sia.. sing like nobody business and we were like shouting to evanesence..whahaa... den skali the boys potong stim siak..came back so fast... we were lik UHhh... haha still haha they entertain us with their jiwang songs line up.. and sing like org siao..hahaha"

and baby and syam take off by bike while me and syafa took off by foot...

And yup, we walk on foot from ming arcade to Esplanade down to Raffles MRT station.Nyehahahahax.

And ohhh, talking about karaoke.
how time flies, that it has been 11 months.
The first time i went for a karaoke session with baby boy is together, with kakak. But that time was at pandan or teban. Not that sure... Heheehx.
Hahaahahaahx.
Walking down memory lane.
At that time, I was still the shy, soft spoken girl. hahaax. Didn't really sing, cause was extremely shy with my hoarse voice. Nyehahahax...
But wow, look at me now...
Hahaahx.




Continuing, now lets talk about separation, lies, and relatioships.

Funny how it seems but humans that i truly trust with all my heart is the one that is going to betray me with no mercy. I left my ex, cause my bff is loving him and somehow, had a thing behind my back. My best friend, had a road accident, two days after he promise me that he will always be there for me. I am not gonna state down anymore, cause i don't want to hurt any feelings and make themselves feel bad, for all the things that has happen.

Anyways, not to beat around the bush. I got seperated from her. Yup, she had to migrate for some reason. I am not blaming her, but somehow, i swear, i couldn't lose another loves one. Its disheartening, that people come and go so easily. When their time is up, they leave u, and for u to pick the broken pieces, is way to torturing.Its been a happy two years with you, and thank you for everything. Thank you for treating me like a princess, thank u for the patience and understanding.

So please people, no more promises.

Bed - J. Holiday

I am fine...

More updates soon...

i promise

Hahahax...
It doesnt matter if ur the girlfriend or the fiance
cause the thing is, you're still not married to the person
being engange doesn't give you the license to fuck your partner
the only difference it makes is that, the families will have a say in your relationship...

Seriously i dont see the importance of it
just that, its a sign to show that
the man and woman will somehow be married to one another
and its much nicer to actually publicise the relationship...

so seriously, its not really a big deal...

at times ur words just hurts me so damn much

Sudden feel of guiltyness in me...
Thinking of everything that happen yesterday...
New year was a bad idea after all...

Oh well...
No injuries and I am so thankful about it...
seriously, that is like the factor
repeating in my head, over and over again

and for the very first time in my life
I am controlling for the sake of controlling
its all my fault and i cant be selfish enough
trying to put the attention on me
I can't be shaken when i know he is feeling like crap

But still he once again gives me the warm
and thats when i realise that
baby boy loves me dearly

Happy new year people!

hahahahx...
funny how it feels that time flies very very fast...
2008 has gone by just like that...
but i must say that year was the bomb!!

Filled with heartbreaks, emotional breakdown, scandals...
2008 has made me into a stronger person, I manage to survive through god challenges that were destined upon me...
Alhamdulilah.

Despite all the down factor.
2008 was the most happening for me...
Did many crazy stuff, i even got my eyebrow pierce...
Get reunited with my bitch...
Relationship between me and oneself, improved alot alot...
I turned legal, and still satisfying my wants to enjoy after having a long year of resisting night activities with my ladies...

But the best of all...
I met him!



Yup thats right...

Exactly a year ago, we were so close yet so far...
Both of us happens to be in the same place...
Nyehahahax.
:)

Oh well, thats him, my boyffie...

And so, how's the celebration for this year?

Pretty ok i guess, not that happening, and i broke the tradition...
No huggies while watching the fireworks! Sobs sobs
Oh well...
but nothing beats than spending time with baby boy
Yup yup!

Okies enough with words :)






Multiply for full album :)